Effective guide to answering popular interview questions

DISCLAIMER

I) This post is a humorous article written solely to get you incredible people to bust a gut; and should in no way be taken seriously.

II) Most examples are in the context of recent graduates.

III) All, I repeat, ALL situations and examples are ficticious.

INTERVIEW…the next word that immediately pops up in your mind when I say INTERVIEW is STRESS. It does not matter whether it is for the post of a CEO for a multinational or for a waiter at a street corner restaurant. You will be nervous before a job interview. Why? Well, obviously because you badly want the job but you know some ravenous monster is awaiting to eat your brains with the most annoying questions that have ever gone down in the history of job interviews. By the way, have you noticed that sinister, almost I’m-gonna-screw-you grin on an interviewer’s face before the meeting? I swear it literally inspires my inner serial killer. If you too have been victimized by a string of dumb questions in a formal setting at least once in your life, welcome to the club!

Anyway, let’s check out their lousy questions which warrant even lousier answers.

N.B.

EA means expected answer (what the interviewer wants to hear).

HA means honest answer (what you would reply, if you had the balls).

1) Tell me about yourself.

EA- Be like Trump. Blow your own trumpet by talking about your education, previous work experience and proven success.

HA- I’m The Little Mermaid, a born winner. I started out as the sperm which won the race. I worked very hard to get to where I am in life today- an unemployed university graduate. I’m currently trying to finish writing a script for a porno movie but there are just too many holes in the plot.

2) Why do you want this job? 

EA- Demonstrate how your skills match, show your enthusiasm for the job and explain how you fit into the culture.

HA- Firstly, I want the job to earn money to pay for my living expenses because I have always been so passionate about not starving to death. Secondly, I’ve heard your company has a vacancy and coincidentally, I am jobless. So, luck just happened to kiss me. Lastly, I was considering the marvellous idea of harvesting organs from homeless people to make ends meet. Unfortunately, it is illegal.

*Sweet Jesus, please grant me the power to deal with this bullshit for as long as eternity takes.

3) What special skill do you have?

EA- Reveal your strengths related to the job.

HA- I can twerk. Just kidding. That’s my sense of humour. You’ll get used to it. Actually I’ve hacked your system and shortlisted myself for the interview. Now, can you imagine the damage I can do to your organisation by working for your rivalling competitor? I’m also great at multi-tasking. I can waste my time, be unproductive and day-dream all at once. Moreover, I have amazing ability to meet tight deadlines after an interminable procrastination session. These are a few of the many bankable fortes that I possess.

4) What is your greatest weakness? 

EA- The trick is to turn a negative flaw into a positive.

HA- I worry too much. But I’m working on it. Next time something goes wrong, I’ll try blaming someone else for it. For instance, suppose I don’t get this job, it’d be all due to the crappy questions that you need to shove up to your arse.

5) What are your communication skills? 

EA- List your oral and written communication aptitude.

HA- If you’ll pardon my french, my language proficiency includes: bitter sarcasm, pugnacious insults and inappropriate sexual satire.

*How did I end up here in this Tophet?

6) What are your hobbies?

EA- Talk only about the intellectual constructive hobbies that you are engaged in. And remember. Masturbation does not count.

HA- My pastimes are lying on the bed switching between the same three apps on my mobile phone for hours, listening to the same songs I’ve been listening to since 20 years, clicking hundreds of bathroom selfies per day and imagining myself in situations that will never exist in real life. I’m a very interesting person, aren’t I?

7) Where do you see yourself in five years? 

EA- Show ambition, commitment and goal-orientedness, even if your sense of direction at the moment is like a headless chicken.

HA- I’m so glad you asked. Please allow me to bore you for several minutes with a lump of overly-optimistic nonsense about my future. I’ll either be happily sitting at your place, just asking better questions or win a Noble Prize for getting Black Rhinos to hump more. Either way, I plan to take over the world and my future is as bright as a pair of albino buttocks bathed in sunlight.

8) What is your idea of teamwork?

EA- Display your ability to work collaboratively and motivate others in the group as well.

HA- I was rather searching for a job where I’m politely ignored and left to my own devices with unlimited internet access, doughnuts and coffee. However, I understand the importance of teamwork, especially if you are bone idle. It allows a moocher to get favourable commendation from his or her boss for a job others slogged away every cell of their body at completing. Basically, teamwork is great.

9) Tell me about your professional experience.

EA- Highlight your past accomplishment and knowledge at previous jobs. Convey your excitement to transfer your skills to the post you have applied for.

HA- From the job advertisement, I gather that you are looking for someone aged 22-25 with thirty years of work experience. If you don’t mind me asking Sir, are you looking for a time traveller? This sounds really innovative on your part. Let me congratulate you. Now, to answer your question, frankly I do not have any job experience. Still, I have more degrees than a thermometer. I’m sure it would make up for the lack of hands-on involvement.

10) What are your salary expectations? 

EA- The interviewer wants to know the minimum salary you will accept and see if you are aware of your value in the labour market.

HA- I want a job that would appreciate my exceptional talent. So, I expect to be paid above the median salary of your average employee. I think Rs 40 000 is reasonable to start with. As I prove my remarkable intelligence at work, you can add up to any amount of zeros, in your good judgement, as my increment.

11) What makes you think that you are the best candidate for this job and why should we hire you? 

EA- Evince your passion for the job and praise the company profusely.

HA- Arrogance. End of story.

Phew! A job interview indeed puts everyone, the strongest and most sensible ones alike through the wringer. It’s not too bad, albeit I believe that the questions and answers that have been parroted for decades could be restructured in a more unconventional manner. There’s no royal road to securing a nice job in today’s increasingly competitive world; but if you are worth your salt, success is a sure thing. To those having upcoming interviews- Break a leg! Knock ’em dead!

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Author: The Little Mermaid

My soul is an enthralling mystery, delicately concocted with some chaos and a little glee.

367 thoughts on “Effective guide to answering popular interview questions”

  1. Hey Sirenita, you outdid yourself on this post! Interviews truly do suck, but I’d pay the price of admission to watch you go through the one you described here πŸ™‚ XOX Rich

  2. You must actually want a job. wanting anything is the swiftest way to denying you this desire for the power over you as you just created your own carrot. and why all this celery talk, you want LETTUCE. be a salad gal πŸ˜€

  3. You are wonderful and I love this post! I’ve been through so many interviews and you have to be your best. Its nerve racking. Thanks for shedding your lovely light on things!! xoxoxo

  4. What a brilliant post! After many years of life and work I’m happy to say that I still have my balls. Even so I’m glad I don’t have to go through the trauma of job interviews anymore! Just one huge interview left when I depart this life and all I need for that is love!

  5. Well, that was a good read, I think I’d like to offer you a position, you can probably guess what it is! LOL Very good LM, Good luck with your searching, there must be a good job out there for you πŸ™‚

  6. How sorry I feel for you youngsters and the world your forebears made sure you were going to inherit. (OK, so that is sarcasm, in case someone thought I was being serious.) By the way, your answers are “bust-a-gut” wonderful. They really should be standard expected answers to any sucky interviewer. Interviews, the new way to hire, demonstrates how much of the work world has been taken over by farting bureaucraps who use this to justify their utterly redundant “jobs.” In my day, that’s before they invented the wheel and the smart phone (I know one came before the other but can’t remember which) someone like myself (yes, there were some actually) would have her dad drive her around town or down the highway, pick a motel and apply to clean rooms. The interview consisted of being handed the implements of destruction required and watching you perform. Nine times out of ten, unless you really sucked at it and tried to flush the dust pan down the toilet, that sort of stuff, you got the job. You, not the manager, decided on the shifts, and they had to fit with your school schedule – and that was taken for granted. Others (differently gendered) would drive around and pull up at a construction site and ask if they needed anybody for anything. The foreman would look at you, then say, “C’mon over here, I need a pile of lumber cleared out of that room.” and you’d be left to take care of the lumber by asking the (non-white-hard-hat guys, i.e., the labourers – foremen wore white hats and labourers usually yellow or blue ones, just to make sure no one got confused as to who was actually in charge because the labourers often knew more about the job than either the foreman or the super) where the lumber should be relocated and you did that. Then the foreman would come up to you, mention that he was impressed on how fast your moved the pile, hand you the keys to the site pick up truck and say, “Go to the lumber yard and pick up a load of 2×4’s. The order is at the desk. If they aren’t ready ask “Mike” to help you load, got that?” Well of course I got that. You always “got that” since none of it was rocket science. And by the way, even though I’m not quite as old as Methuselah (he cheated) I was never unemployed in my entire 55 year working life, and for the most part neither were most of those “like me” out there working. Maybe it’s because we averaged a grade 10 education, so instead of degrees, we had to actually know how to do things and how to communicate so things could actually get done. There, now don’t you feel better? So, here’s one last question from the interviewer: “And now, how do you feel about this interview?” EA: “Great. Thank you so much for interviewing me” and extend hand for hand shake. HA: Actually if I had a gun right now, I’d shoot you, but that’s just the way I feel, don’t take it personally.

  7. So you’re really not kidding that we shouldn’t answer as an HA would? To that I say, “ha!” (EA is really just way too boring…)

  8. Love this! I might not get the job but I’ll have fun… honestly though, I’m normally that idiot on the other side, asking the questions. Lol! Tell me about yourself is our favorite question. πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  9. Hi Rich, how’s lovely November treating you? Haha! Yes, interviews really suck thanks to the fatuous questions which are mechanically repeated by most interviewers. C’mon! We are the Generation Y people and we are bound to get easily fed up with this clichΓ©d system of the recruitment process.

    High time they bring more creativity and a personal touch to the table!

    Have a great Saturday, my friend! X

  10. Hi Migueltio, how are you? I’ve read one of your comments on BeautyBeyondBones about your mother. The news saddens me but that’s life. I pray you go through this ordeal with courage, grace and divine blessings.

    I agree with you. An interview is taxing. It is the only occasion when a person is at his spurious best. As an interviewee, I find this feigned sham very suffocating.

    Take good care. Be strong. Sending love and light to you XOXO

  11. i love this……………fun, honest and against all the thoughts and work you put into making it useless…….this was actually very helpful……..!!! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  12. Haha! Yeah, it’s the post of a Human Resource Manager. I’m pleased you’ve enjoyed the read Ogden. And I appreciate your concern but thankfully, I have a nice job. However, I was there once, too. So frustrating it is.

    See you X

  13. Good advice. Interestingly enough, I’ve interviewed a lot of people for various jobs over the years and I’ve never asked one of those questions. I keep questions specific to the job at hand and what the candidates have represented on their CVs. I never ask what their salary expectations are. I tell the’ll what the job pays (always in the market range) and then leave it to leave it to them to convince me why they think they are worth more if indeed they want a higher salary.

  14. XOXO Sending you love and light beautiful mermaid!! You are so wonderful!! Yes, it is part of life. I am ok. I am taking it in and doing the best I can. It would be foolish of me to think that it could get better or be better, or that she should go for years in a la-la state the way my grandmother did. I send you my love and the best for any interview you have in coming times! Always smiling at your beautiful smile!! xoxoxoxo

  15. ‘Be like Trump” cracked me up! This post added some much-needed humor to a dreary homework weekend. Thanks!

  16. Do we love The Little Mermaid or what people. We love the SASS. We love the confidence. It’s the right way to be. When you have the chance, I’d really like your feedback on a few of my stories…Ms Scarlet … Blue Jasmine … The Empty Voter… Your feedback would give me confidence to land the amazing mermaid..

  17. Nice post! I always laugh inside with the traditional questions they ask on job interviews. The where do you see yourself in 5 years always cracks me.
    I liked your blog and personally I’d like to see more pictures or images as I go through the text, even just a small cartoon next to the text can make it funnier.

  18. As a professional cripple I’m self-employed and work from home. And frankly I was completely annoyed at the questions I asked myself in the interview for this prestigious position. But I showed myself my albino-white buttocks, told myself to kiss them if I didn’t get the job, and today I’m the best employee in this thriving company of one!
    I think for every stupid question an interviewer asks the prospective employee should get to flick the interviewer’s ear. Hard.

  19. I work in HR and conduct *plenty* of interviews – and honestly, HA would be preferred most of the time… all I want is a bit of personality and a nice conversation! But maybe I’m not usual :/

  20. Having been retired now quite a few years, I will admit, it has been a few years since I had to go through this process ……………..however, prior to being forced out into the retirement scene earlier in my life than I wanted to – I do remember quite well the interview process I endured upon trying to explain to the Interviewer why a person with over 30 years experience in my field would be a great asset. Do the words “over-qualified” or you would not be interested in the position available because it would be beneath you and so forth and so on. Bottom line is that your Honest Answers just cracked me up and do bring out what we would truly like to say in response to some of the “dumb” questions asked.
    As usual, great post.

  21. Haha! Aw, this was a nice trip down the memory lane. I must agree though, life was so much simpler back then. I really enjoyed your experience. Thanks for sharing Sha’Tara. X

  22. Yes. That’s why I liked it; I looked it up. I was temped to comment, Where the hell did you find that? But, as a new reader, I didn’t want to offend.

    I think I’m going to enjoy your writing. It’s obvious that many other people do.

  23. Oh Anne! Thank God you are my friend here. You have lesser chances of getting punched right in the face. Haha!

    Jokes apart, may I know who decides on the format of the questions? Do you guys have to follow a particular guideline? Is there no way out to devise new questions just to reinvigorate the content a bit?

  24. Hahaha! And luckily you are far away. Lol!
    You know what, we truly just want to make people sweat and “we” actually think they are clever questions. Hahaha! It’s an HR template. πŸ™‚ I actually interview slightly differently especially for higher positions. I guess, interviewing becomes boring. I prefer to “chat” but inject these “standard” questions as the candidate gets comfortable. Lol! Not for fun but because the answers help decide if they’ll fit in.
    When I go for interview, I answer how I see fit, what’s right for me. I think that at the end of the day, the candidate is also looking for a place where he/she will be happy. We forget that. We think only the employer is looking for the perfect fit. We must also ask questions and answer according to how we feel otherwise we’ll end up where we won’t be happy πŸ™‚ But for the required salary, I guess we can all make sacrifices until we can move on again. πŸ™‚

  25. HA- If I were a colour, it’d be green for two reasons. Firstly, green is the colour of money and I’m here to make money. Secondly, I always turn people green with envy wherever I go. Now please don’t ask me why. *Sigh

    Haha! Thanks for the addition to the list. πŸ˜€

  26. Ariel, this is great! I love it. Its funny, we think we know our blogging friends by way of what they write and write about and then BOOM you drop this funny, sarcastic side of yourself on everyone. What a great sense of humor; paralleling my own twisted sarcastic and self-deprecating version of ‘funny’. Its great to see this side of you and hope to get more glimpses in the future. Your writing is great and not pigeon-holed into one or two niche’s. I love it!

    Knock ’em Dead Interviews has been my go to resource for preparing for interviews…until now. So did you get the job?

  27. Interviews are a good way to connect with other people around you,yes they are boring but through that you can meet someone new and maybe become friends.πŸ˜‡

  28. Thanks for providing your insight Timothy. Actually, my problem is not with the questions which are asked. I understand that the answers to these serve as a basis to evaluate and eventually to choose the best candidate cut out for the job. My issue lies with the interrelationship between an interviewer and an interviewee. Most interviewers do little to converse with the applicant. Sometimes it is very blatant that they’ve learnt the traditional questions by heart and they just vomit them to each and every one they interview.

    Have a nice Friday!

  29. It’s also a problem with larger companies that the interview process starts with people who are HR and not necessarily the people the candidate will work for. Our company is small enough that when we interview candidates they get the manager, plus a person from HR to answer questions about policies and benefits, etc. in the interview. We engage the candidates in conversation and have them tell su about themselves, their work, their interests. In our company, the cultural fit in creative, self motivated, inquisitive, flexible, educated, etc. is as important as having the skills to do the job.

  30. This made me smile – all my children and their partners are at this stage. You have summed it up perfectly. Good luck in your endeavours – I am so fortunate to be avoiding job interviews, but it is equally as cringing and wearisome to be a creative trying to get noticed !

  31. HEY – Boomers feel exactly the same way (and have for longer than Gens X&Y have been alive) – don’t dis your elders. πŸ™‚ (and don’t hold your breath waiting for a better process – ain’t gonna’ happen!)

    I actually enjoyed interviews – because I live to chat and was exposed to this BS mostly during my acting years, so I didn’t care if I got their job or not – I was outa’ there the minute I got a paying acting gig. (Ironically, I *never* interviewed for a job I wasn’t offered – seriously.) Maybe acting skills are key — or that they wanted to see if they could make me want *them*.

    Now that I work for myself, there are days wish I didn’t get THIS job!

    GREAT article!
    xx,
    mgh
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
    – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
    “It takes a village to educate a world!”

  32. I absolutely looove this post! So witty, educating and humorously elegant.
    Interview can be such a pain in the butt though, it would have been easier if we are allowed to reply them Honestly instead of modifying one’s response to the low ebb of expected answers.

  33. Pure genius truly enjoyed it. You are very witty and funny. The part about selfies music and 3 apps was fabulosity! Made my day!

  34. Hi there, to tell you the truth, I also laugh a little inside with the questions because they EXPECT you to give insipid, rehearsed answers to them. The HR industry badly needs a makeover, doesn’t it?

    I’m delighted you find my blog pleasant. And you are absolutely right. In fact, I was thinking of inserting GIFs after each paragraph but dropped the idea later. I’ll probably edit the post. Thanks for providing such a valuable feedback. Hope to see you here again! πŸ™‚

  35. Exactly! The ultimate purpose of a face-to-face interview is to get to know the temperament of the candidate. I wonder how interviewers decide on the ideal one when everyone tries to be the best ‘actor’ in town.

  36. I have a way of words. I make women speechless and I make great writers envy my abilities. Its the just way the cookie crumbles under the sea. Look forward to hearing your thoughts on stories, they will rock you

  37. Hi there, I was in the same boat a few times before. I got rejected for being ‘overqualified’. They probably thought my pompous ego would thwart my productivity. Morons!

    Anyway, thanks for reading and for your input. Much appreciated! πŸ™‚

  38. HA- In five years, I’ll probably be already married to a Martian and become world famous for being the first one to create human-Martian hybrid children.

    Haha! Thanks for the read.:)

  39. Ariel? Aw it sounds cute. Haha! Well, unpredictability is one of my character traits. I have come across your amusing side many a times before. With your two peppy girls, I believe parenting must definitely be accompanied with a good dose of laughter now and then to keep the excitement going. And I’m glad you had fun reading this post. Thank you.

    Oh by the way, I’m a working woman. This post reflects what I’ve been through in the past.

    See you around, (Name, if you don’t mind sharing?) πŸ™‚

  40. Thanks, ahhh…Ariel.. I try to be amusing. I am glad it comes across that way. My cancer posts are the funniest I think. Being a Dad for a coupla ‘peppy girls’ has reintroduced me to the kid still alive inside me. I try to make it fun for them (although not too much as this class clown got himself in a fair share of trouble in school) and that translates over I think. (I hope) Andy =3D. And this post came in handy for me as I took lots of your’helpful’ ideas to heart in my interview process which…..just landed me a promotion(!!!) So I owe you for this very timely and helpful post…..Working Girl.( and your name if you do not mind…)

  41. Very funny! I would have to blatantly lie to get the job, that is a dammed shame. If I told them where I see myself in Five years…they would call me an arrogant dreamer!
    I needed that laugh.

  42. Well, let’s put it this way, when people will stop being politically correct and will have the courage to say what it’s really in their mind, the world will be much better and freer. Love the post. πŸ™‚

  43. Happy Thanksgiving, and this busts me up. Great work. And very real truth, there are a bunch of bosses that try to be a player, but if someone as gorgeous as you are and intelligent. Lol that sucker will be played while playing. And deserve it in spades lol..πŸ˜†
    .
    .

  44. Just stumbled onto this…Very very funny. Acerbic, biting, and spot on. If you don’t get the job, I do sincerely hope that you make a shitload of money in a successful lawsuit against The Man for putting you through the painful interview process. It’s just not right.

  45. Interesting post with advice. Sometimes, even before the other person opens his/her mouth, you instinctively know that the interview is over before it starts. Politely leave the room after thanking the individual. Life is too short to be small. Live and learn!

  46. Hi sweet, I absolutely agree with the bit where you said you prefer ‘to chat but inject these standard questions as the candidate gets comfortable’. Interviews are intimidating, even for the most qualified one but if a genuine smile or an offer for a drink helps the job seeker to feel relaxed, I’d strongly request interviewers to be thoughtful. Professionalism doesn’t equate untactfulness.

    Happy weekend, darling. Sending love and hugs all your way XO

  47. You’re right. An interview is a two way process. Engaging the candidate in a meaningful conversation is better than just spouting the traditional questions one after the other.

    Have a nice weekend!

  48. Belated Happy Thanksgiving! No, excuse me! I’m not the least bit interested to ‘play’ with such people even if they were the last ones to ‘play’ with on this planet. πŸ˜€

    Thanks for the read. Happy weekend to you! X

  49. Thanks for posting! I laughed extremely hard, I’m gonna have to develop a better set of interview questions. The answers to these questions are going to be swimming through my head at the most inappropriate moments.

  50. Oh no I’m sorry I meant like there are bosses and what not , who are like that towards women, which is really screwed up an demeaning toward women, purely off their beauty, and not looking at their intellect, kindness, people skills ,problem solving, and a list of things that women are way better at than men.. I again am sorry for not interpreting it correctly.. but nonetheless, it was hilarious and very, very good..have you ever tried or thought about writing screenplay? Because that would make a good character for a comedy movie..

  51. We need to be friends. That’s all. I have an interview on Thursday AFTER therapy and you made me laugh. You rock. Also, I know how to write film scripts so if you ever need help with plotting…~ P ~

  52. And ooops, I just read the disclaimer… Sorry again lol. This was very character like in quality.
    And if you ever wanted to do screenplay,or screenwriting…you should. The character in this is better than a lot of play writing in many a movie.. and hope your Thanksgiving went awesome..

  53. You are spot on! Professionalism doesn’t say don’t be friendly. I recruit for clients, too, and I don my initial interviews in coffee shops. πŸ™‚
    You have a terrific Sunday! Hugs xxx

  54. Hey there! This post cracked me up! Seriously sometimes I really wish we could just let loose like this and tell them (employers) our “realistic” expectations and thoughts. Then again, it’s…probably best wr don’t haha!

    Thanks for giving me a good laugh, and also for coming to my blog and liking my latest post (poem)! I appreciate it and will be following you from now on too!

    It’s a pleasure to meet you! πŸ™‚

  55. This post is so freaking hilarious and so amazingly written that I keep coming back ever so often to re-read it.Probably my first of such with any post on WordPress!! πŸ˜‰

  56. Haha I do so many interviews and this one truly made me laugh out loud and I loved it. I will truly need to incorporate some of your questions and loved your post. Great job and so very well written.

  57. I got to write a final comment on that post: obviously it was a hit; “we” all enjoyed it… a lot. Thanks for the entertainment and opportunity to add our own bits and pieces of humour to it all. It’s been a lot of fun reading all the comments.

  58. Hey mermaid (not fair that I can’t reply back with your true name)! anyways,I’ll leave that for another day…I really want to know what you think of my new poem, ‘Sleep well,my child.’ It’s the second one on my blog as of now,please do give it a read when you get time πŸ™‚

  59. I’m really quite pleased that at my age I’ll never need to be interviewed for a job again. Wouldn’t want to go through all that stress, although I must have felt the same when I was young enough to work!

  60. Hi Andy, I’m well aware that searching for my About Page is as complicated as finding one’s way out of a maze. I’ll do something to fix it.

    Have a nice weekend! πŸ™‚

  61. Hi David, please don’t be sorry. C’mon! I did not take your words seriously. Nah, I’ve never thought of doing screenplay..well unless you’re the lead hero in the movie. Haha!

    Thanks for loving the post. I wish you a fantastic December ahead! πŸ™‚

  62. Urvashi, you have two million Followers already and libraries of comments. I’m not sure if fixing a hidden About page is worth the time at this point. You are already a WP goddess. Any one who is anybody important already knows who you are πŸ˜‰

  63. OMG! That’s not two million but two thousand followers; and I’m most grateful for having them all. Thanks for the constant support Andy.

    I wish you and your lovely family a dazzling December. X

  64. Calling me a ‘WP Goddess’ is a little too much. Please stick to Ariel. Haha!

    Indeed, December spells holidays, joy and festivity. It’s one of my favorite months of the year. Make the most of it, Andy! πŸ™‚

  65. You hit it out of the park with this one. I ran a lot of interviews in a another galaxy log ago and often fantasized answers like these as I heard variations of the same boring pitches. Insincere, sincerity. Well done. I look forward to following your adventures.

  66. That’s hilarious. I picture Seth Rogan doing the honest answers in the interview! It is such a head game, and exhausting. I always tell myself, “I don’t care if I get this job,” and try to be honest with an appearance of professionalism. Otherwise, I am a nervous wreck and leave not knowing what I said. Good luck to anyone applying and interviewing. It is such an exhausting, tedious process!

  67. I know I’m over a month late, but I had to comment. I laughed throughout this post. Your word usage is beyond admirable – I hope to reach your level. Having said that, #9 took the icing on the cake for me. To be more specific, I giggled and smiled hard at the time traveler part, but the degrees joke made me laugh out loud like it isn’t 2:20 AM! Your language combined with how you use it is masterful.

  68. lol I just had two interviews this week I wish I came upon this post earlierπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚lightens the mood & takes away the stress that comes with interviewing πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  69. Really nice humor/irony in this post, Little Mermaid! You have a talent for finding the humor in everyday life, I think! – Bringing in references to the recent election, etc. Great! πŸ™‚

  70. Omg what a fantastic post. It was LOL funny! 22-25 with 30+ years experience? Ahahahahaha. Perhaps I should try some of the honest answers in my next interview? πŸ˜€ fabulous!

  71. Hi Little Mermaid, I love this article! It relates to me particularly because I am looking for work. I want so much to answer those inane questions that the “recruiters” have the balls to ask and still can keep a straight face with answers somewhat like the ones you wrote. I do not do well with stupidity, and hence do not “interview” well. I have been a professional saleswoman for over 30 years, and I have a hard time with a 13 years old trying to train me. I think one job I mentioned that the product needs to be something people want and need and priced so that people can afford to purchase it. I also will not take strictly commission and don’t want to try to sell ice cubes to eskimo’s.

  72. I very much liked your posting. Not only the posting, but some of the comments as well – the one by sudden thoughts and second thoughts and the other by SHA’TARA. By the way, what is Lol ? Would someone explain?

  73. Bonjour

    Dans un cadre chaleureux
    L’AmitiΓ© est une maison
    Accueillante et agrΓ©able
    Il suffit d’ouvrir la porte de son cΕ“ur
    Pour offrir le meilleur de soi-mΓͺme
    Je te souhaite une bonne journΓ©e

    Une belle semaine

    Gros bisous

    Une rose d’amitiΓ© Γ  t’offrir

    ​

    Bernard

    ​

  74. Hi Nicky, I apologize for the late reply but it was a pleasant surprise to read the post. Thank you very much for the mention. That’s kind of you.

    Have an amazing holiday season, my friend.

    Hugs and kisses X

  75. LOL for “just too many holes in the plot” Wow you really have a wild and wonderful imagination Little Mermaid!!! I don’t know whether or not I would be so honest in my interview but I really would like to try saying some of your statements in my next interview….. Maybe the interviewer will kick me out but I really want to try it…

  76. Thank you for your generosity! I am sure my readers will pop by your website to read more of your fabulous articles! Have a smashing time during the holidays! Cheers πŸ™‚

  77. My God! This was frickin’ HILARIOUS! I laughed all the way through and shared it with my co-workers! AWESOME POST!!! I look forward to reading more in the future!

  78. Interesting and simple. For some reasons, I remembered Robert Die Nero in “The Intern” movie when he was asked during the interview: “Where do you see yourself after 10 years?”. He is 70 years old!!

  79. So glad I read this today. I needed to LAUGH and I did!!! ’til tears streamed down my face! You are a small gem – precious and valuable and I’m going to be coming here a lot! Make sure you have some more funny posts for me … or else!!! LOL

  80. This is hilarious! Love the HA and the EA :). Someone used to say in Tamil “sonnadhum solla ninaippadhum” – means “what I said and what I thought about saying!”

  81. “INTERVIEW…the next word that immediately pops up in your mind when I say INTERVIEW is STRESS.”
    Close, The Little Mermaid, but in my case, I’d offer another six letter word beginning with S.
    Normally containing four letters, I grant you, but at the prospect of an interview I’d always fall back on (and not in, that would happen later, probably during the interview) ‘Shi*it’
    (I’ve cleverly disguised it in case one of our mother’s read this)
    That minor difference of view aside, top post : )

  82. Very entertaining! If I ever have to interview for a job again I must remember some of these. (I’m not planning to though. finding new homes and new jobs are my least pleasant activities.)
    Hey, kudos on your page design. I must do some work on mine. I just got it up a few days ago and updated today.

  83. I laughed so much at your honest answers a fellow sarcastic person right here with you haha. Seriously that was a really good read, honestly if I was the interviewer I would hire you straight away x

  84. So long I was worried a bigger mermaid or some other ocean dwelling creature with a liking for tails had got you πŸ˜‰

  85. Of course I knew this really πŸ™‚ Your majesty of the seas is legend here in England. They talk of Drake and Nelson but they trail in your wake.
    I will unless you beat me to it πŸ™‚

  86. Yes, how I related to this excellent humour and intelligent thoughts written with grace..Oh to learn these skills you have..blessings Mim

  87. If only harvesting organs from homeless people was an option, anyone would have loved to go for the honest answers instead of the expected ones. But.. Damn humanity and their stupid laws. πŸ˜‘

  88. My god, I love reading your posts, Ma’am. Superb one. Actually I was thinking of giving such replies to my interviewers some time back but my inner Superman had to hold my horses and I ended up in my current over enthusiastic job.

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