Letter to my future daughter

Dear Alexandria,

As you reach your tender sixteen, there are a couple of things I would like to share with you. I want to start by telling you, my beloved daughter, that I love you endlessly. I fell in love with you when I heard your heartbeat for the first time. I fell in love with you when you clutched to my bosom in the middle of the night. I fell in love with the way you smile, with how you smell, with every single piece of you because you are a part of me. You have to know that, to me, you are far more precious than the Kohinoor diamond. Alex, you are a blessing in my life and I’m forever grateful to God for proffering me the good fortune to be your mother.

Darling, you are not born with a silver spoon in your mouth. You are born with a sword in your hand. You are neither the hopeless princess of a disneyland nor the delicate sleeping beauty of a fairytale. No! You are not any of those. You are a warrior. A true warrior. You do not need someone to save your bacon because inside you lies all the might to guard yourself and others as well from the demons. You are that much admirably invincible, my goddess. You’re growing up to be a beautiful woman tomorrow. Seek not, my child, to be the evanescent beauty that pleases nothing but the eyes. I’d rather you seek to be the sempiternal beauty that pleases everything but the eyes. Oh dear! What fools these mortals be who acquiesce to society’s decree. Fair or ebony, tall or knee high to a gnat, it matters not; for beauty transcends the conventional to alight on a face- as fresh as the morning dew, to alight on lips- words they enounce soft and gentle and to alight in a heart- generous and tolerant. This is the unvarnished definition of beauty, love.

Being your mother, honey, I bestowed upon you this thing called ‘life’. Yet, you have to feel alive. And for you to feel alive, you should forge your own identity. You have been put on The Promised Land with a divine purpose. It is your cardinal mission to honour and give meaning to your life by discovering the reason for your existence. Once you uncover your ikigai, stick to it like a moth to the flame. Earn your livelihood around what spurs you to get out of bed at 5 a.m. You enjoy photography? Be a photographer. You enjoy cooking? Be a chef. I’d be proud if you choose to get your hands dirty just to keep your passion burning. Pour your heart into what you do, and I promise you will wear the crown in your chosen field one day. Do not get too comfortable settling. It’s like being trapped in a dark, scary room where you are screaming at the top of your lungs with no one to hear you. You don’t want that, do you? So, embrace challenges. Be on the go. Try. Rise. Fall. A thousand times over. Experience life-both with its lemons; and colourful spices and flavours. Flatline is for the dead.

Alex, you are bathing in the fountain of youth. You are just about to explore the different facets of your sexuality. Your sacred feminine spirit is calling on you to wear that little black dress, to do that gorgeous make-up or to dream of a charming prince on a white horse. However, there will also be moments of skepticism and disdain when you will feel like the ugliest creature on Earth, especially after watching The Oscars. It’s perfectly normal. Through it all, I want you to act responsibly with your body. You owe it to yourself. Your first kiss with your boyfriend might make you want to believe in French romance and the happily-ever-after kind of love. Why shouldn’t you anyway? But I want you to believe in second love, too. The kind of love that feels like hushed waves washing over a dry shore-yeah, it does exist. I’m not gonna ask you to look at the world through rose-tinted glasses. It’s also a cruel place here, my child. A pig-ignorant society will judge you. There will be men who will drool over your body. You must absolutely learn to say ‘no’ without apology. It is not your responsibility to smother the lingering lewd thoughts men have around your physical features or material attire. You are not accountable to me, let alone to your next-door neighbour, or your uncles and aunts. You are accountable to your conscience. Just do good no matter what and stay true to who you are.

A rich life is what you deserve, Alexandria. Travel to places you’ve never been before. Learn a new language. Read books. Laugh out loud. Do the bungee jump. Dance under the moonlight. Be goofy. Love fiercely. Eat your greens. Lift heavy. Rock your heels. You have but one life to make the most out of it. Baby, you are a powerhouse of intellect, courage and joy. You are a million stars under a sky. Sprinkle your angelic shine everywhere you go. Carpe diem!

I got your back!

Your loving,

Mama

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Author: The Little Mermaid

My soul is an enthralling mystery, delicately concocted with some chaos and a little glee.

293 thoughts on “Letter to my future daughter”

  1. I think we should all teach our daughters that the world is tough and they should build their own castles instead of waiting for a prince charming. Great post 💜

    Reply

    1. Very true. The only place where we were out of harm’s way was in the womb. Teaching our naive daughters how to take care of their own well-being-both mentally and physically is paramount.

      Have a great weekend!🙂

      Reply
  2. Pingback: Letter to my future daughter – The Militant Negro™

      1. well it´s becoming better and better from generation to generation, isn´t it. For my grandma´s gerneration there was no way for woman to buit their own castle, because they needed a men to earn the money. hm and nowadays women should be finacially independent and no problem…

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        1. Very true Anie. And it’s not just a battle for financial independence, but one of emotional independence as well. Today’s women should be self-reliant whereby a man is not an indispensable need but a welcome addition to their own life.

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          1. you’re right. But I think the emotional dependence is not gender specific. You share with a human your time, secrets, interests and maybe also love. It could just be a nice roommate. But also a husband with children. You build your world around it. That’s normal, right? When you then decide to go another new way, you rebuild emotional bonds. These are also dependencies again. I think a really “free” person has no relationship and does not long for it. He likes the solitude and does not care about loneliness.

            Reply

            1. Hello Annie, you are right when you posit that no man is an island. However, by emotional independence I mean finding that inner sense of peace and fulfillment which comes with an increased awareness of oneself; when a person uses his emotions instead of being a slave to them, when a person takes responsibility of his situation and while he is open in accepting love from others, he knows that he is fully capable of loving himself. Emotional independence is one of the strongest and most admirable qualities a person can possess regardless of his or her marital status, gender, race, colour or creed.

              Have a nice Sunday.

              Reply

              1. oh, that’s hard to understand. In any case, it is desirable to be able to use one’s emotions and not only passively endure. You have to accept them and take responsibility for them, that’s right. Can someone receive love when he does not love himself? I think he at least can not give love if he does not love himself, right?
                I wish you a wonderful Sunday!

                Reply

                  1. I wish you the same. I have always loved and still love myself even when life disappoints me. I agree that I have many mistakes and are stupid. It makes me adorable in a different way. And yes I am dependent on my emotions because I am someone who has always cared for others and will always do so. I will never ever be someone who walks alone, because I love humans and I love to have a partner. I do not reach half as much in my life for myself if I have no one to look after. And I have never shirked responsibility. For everything I’ve achieved in life and everything I’ve screwed up, I take responsibility.

                    Reply

  11. Of course, there may be times you may curse your future daughter. Having had one, I know just how challenging they can be. Just the same, I enjoyed the beauty of your prose in this post.

    Reply

    1. For quite the pertinacious teen that I was, I’m pretty sure my mum has cursed me many a times too. Haha! I believe they just have to be handled with love.

      Thanks for the read. Have a nice week Tippy! X

      Reply

  16. YES! This is what I wished for my ‘future daughter’ before I ever thought I’d be a mom. She did come to being, and she is as strong and courageous and beautiful and smart as I’d imagined. Now I watch her raise her little girl just as you envision in your letter. xo

    Reply

    1. All mothers do care for their pretty little girls, dear. The upbringing might differ owing to cultural, financial, or situational variances but the end goal is the same- to raise healthy, happy and loving daughters.

      You’re most welcome for the like. X

      Reply

  20. Dear Urvashi,
    You surprise me every time. You are very intellectual, a very warm person and very beautiful!
    BTW : I have five children, three sons and two daughters, all of them are very unique!
    Lennart

    Reply

  26. What a lovely, heartfelt letter. I imagined what it would have been like reading it to my daughter when she was young. I also think your letter can apply to any woman at any stage of life who wants to be reminded of what’s important to strive for and what is meaningful in this world. I’m a new follower and look forward to future posts.

    Reply

    1. Hello, thanks for dropping by. Well, in hindsight, I wouldn’t want to change a thing about my past. I believe things (both the good and the bad) happened for a reason- for me to grow out of them. Most importantly, I’m blessed with parents whose love anchors me and whose trust gives me the wings to fly. They are supportive of my decisions. So, to really answer your question, it’s a letter to my future daughter opening her eyes to the ways of this world. 🙂

      Reply

  38. An unprepared person shouldn’t even dream of procreation. It’s one of the gravest responsibilities: bringing an innocent child into this tough world.

    Procreation is not a job for a fool. Your child must be more successful than you are or else we’ll throwing more evil into an already mad society.

    I’ve always said that, “Before my kids will hear of any sensitive thing, I’d have taught it to them at home.” Why should I leave my God given arrows to an enemy? The zeitgeist can’t be the graduating college of my children. No way!

    King Solomon taught in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” The word ‘child’ is na`ar (nah’-ar): (concretely) a boy or girl (as active), from the age of infancy to adolescence. It’s done at a very early stage of life. “Train” is the Hebrew word chanak (khaw-nak’) ‘1. (properly) to narrow 2. (figuratively) to initiate or discipline.’ If you don’t narrow your child into the initiation of the most High, you’ve failed like Adam failed to reach the eld of 100 years.

    The most important reason for child bearing is to usher into our sinful world, the salvaging Prince of peace. With that God consummated His soteriological commitment. Anyone who’s ready for a procreative responsibility must be as ready as God was. Amen!

    This post is a didactic beauty, dear lady of aquatic splendour. I believe your own child will tread the earth colossally. It’s been long I’ve read something from you. More grace to your elbows.

    Reply

    1. Hello my best buddy, it feels nice to hear from you. How are you doing? Interacting with you always promises a scintillating conversation. Huge thank you for that!

      Coming back to your comment, you are absolutely right in what you are saying. People take the very act of procreation lightly. I fail to understand how creating miniature human beings is a validation of one’s fertility or virility, even more so, in the cultural domain of marriage, a demonstration of one’s capability to provide timeless love to his/her partner.

      As part of a modern and informed breed of civilisation, we must think twice before bearing a child, inasmuch as there are already millions of starving orphaned kids in every nook and corner of the world who want to be accepted. Why don’t we choose to adopt them? Why do we ignore them? I’m pretty sure we share the same colour of blood. We speak the same language-the language of love. They are no different than us. One day, God willing, I might adopt a baby and raise her just the way I have spelled out in the letter. I hope my prayers are heard in good faith.

      Keep in touch and have a splendid weekend, dearest! Hugs XO

      Reply

      1. Is there any difference between one’s biological offspring and an adopted one? Most times the adopted one tends to appreciate the adopting parents. God, after all, adopted us to become Christians, HIS eternal heirs!

        Did all not come from the same Adam and his Eve, who were of the antediluvian age? Did, according to the biblical documentation, Noah’s household not continue the procreation up until this very day? Everybody is truly everybody’s kin. Like you rightly pointed out we have the same life sustaining fluid running through our veins. So, what’s the big deal?

        One language that keeps us together is love. There should be little wonder why God Himself is love. Check out the interaction between two children of different races, something just pulls them, one to another, race-blind. It’s love, which Jesus saw in them and taught that whoever should offend them offends heaven in that they’re constantly hoisting the glorious flag of love. Amen.

        The incarnation of God through the mechanism of biological procreation is the apogee of human birth. Yes, HE did tell them to be fruitful and multiply. The stark reality is that God was looking at the big, soteriological picture.

        It has been consummated.

        God came to salvage the lost souls. Why can’t we save these children.

        God planned for our creation. Any would-be parent must, of necessity, plan not to fail. Man did blow it but the Creator came to rectify, for eternity, that which was wrong with man. No child, therefore, must be left alone to face the destructive vicissitudes of this murderous earth, where Lucifer is its god.

        Thank you so much for the great work you’re doing. The good LORD will definitely help you to actualize the desideration of your pulchritudinous heart.
        Love you, dear Little Mermaid.

        Reply

        2. Children we all are
          Of one great father, in whatever clime
          Nature or chance hath cast the seeds of life-
          All tongues, all colours; neither after death
          Shall we be sorted into languages
          And tints, white, black, and tawny, Greek and Goth,
          Northmen, and offspring of hot Africa;
          The All-Father, He in Whom we live and move
          He, the indifferent Judge of all, regards
          Nations, and hues, and dialects alike:
          According to their works shall they be judged
          When even-handed Justice in the scale
          Their good and evil weighs
          Children we are all
          Of one great father. . .

          Reply

  39. A mother could write letter to her daughter no better than this I suppose….and I loved that part when you said to your future daughter that she won’t be a princess, but a warrior. This is exactly what she needs to listen to from her mother. Felt amazing after reading this!!!

    Reply

  43. Lovely piece.
    Your words were well chosen and your thoughts well articulated.
    Keep up the good work.
    We all are unique and must be true to ourselves in order to live a fulfilled life.

    Reply

    1. Thanks a lot for the lovely words. And I agree with you. We must choose to pursue a life that feels good to us, where authenticity shines in our actions because we are living true to the truth within us. That’s what matters most. 🙂

      Reply

  44. Hi Urvashi,
    The good stuff is indeed worth the wait. It’s been a while. I must say, this is truly an awesome post. I have two daughters. It is too late for the 24 years old but I would love for my five year old to read this one day. You should transfer this to a plain but beautiful paper and distribute. Not for money, but you must recover your costs and some, but for the legacy of what the words. Not everyone has your gift and you are sharing it. I will be sharing this several times. I hope you don’t mind. Much love and hugs.

    Reply

    1. Hi my girl! How are you doing?

      I’m super glad that you have enjoyed reading the letter and the cherry on top, you would want to share it with your own daughter someday.

      Please feel free to pass on the message as many times as you feel like. It costs a candle nothing to light another candle.

      Sending love, hugs and good wishes all your way, Anne! XOXO

      Reply

      1. I’m so happy to hear that. Thank you so much. I do believe that your letter is a must read for all daughters. It’s really absolutely awesome.

        You disappeared for a bit there. I missed you!

        Take care always. Much love and hugs to you. xxx

        Reply

        1. Yeah, I disappeared for a while. I didn’t like to be away from all of you wonderful people.

          You too, take good care of yourself. It’s already December. Time flies. Make the most of the festive season with your two lovely daughters, sweetheart.

          See you! XOXO

          Reply

  45. Reblogged this on I think, I say, I do and commented:
    This letter, although addressed to a daughter the author doesn’t have yet, contains the most beautiful words of wisdom every daughter should read. It is one of the most awesome letters I have ever read, if not the most. Oh, and the letter is simply a format. Urvashi could have written it differently and the message would have been the same but the letter is just perfect!

    Reply

  47. Wow! What a response you received. You should be proud because it is a beautiful piece written from a tender and open heart. Thank you for sharing your work.

    Reply

  52. I️ love this letter. I️ wish I had not only written such truths to my own daughter, but had received them myself. We choose to pass on the baton others run with. What you are handing off here is wisdom and truth, woven with love. Beautiful

    Reply

    2. Thank you. I hope you follow the lil advices, even though I know Josh Bilings was totally right when he said, “Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give, but dreadful uneasy to take”. Haha!

      Reply

  62. So much truth and wisdom makes for a grand gift. I particularly enjoyed the part about second love and this “Do not get too comfortable settling. It’s like being trapped in a dark, scary room where you are screaming at the top of your lungs with no one to hear you.” Well done.

    Reply
  65. Pingback: Letter to my future daughter – HumanityInMe

        1. I agree with you Bojana. Motherhood is a blissed-out stage in any woman’s life. Find the joy in every single moment that you get to spend with your son, even when he is throwing a tantrum or he is sleeping. Those little toes do grow very fast. XO

          Reply

                1. you will not miss him, you will remember this time looking on photos, but you have the grown-up than, which you also do not want to miss….; )

                  Reply

  73. Hello Urvashi,
    Such a tender and loving post. I am thinking it shows a deep heart desire, you are so bold to share these thoughts with us. Thank you.
    Just a thought, When the HPT was positive was a memorable moment too, the heart beat was impossible to surpass, about 180 as I remember.

    We are approaching our national Thanksgiving festivities and wanted to thank you for your work for the blog and all the many replies.

    With Thanks,
    Denny

    Reply

    1. Hi Denny, how are you doing?

      Thank you for loving this post. Please allow me to clear any misunderstanding you might be having. I’m not married and I have no children. Most of you people who have enjoyed the post and have commented thought I was probably a to-be-mom, if not yet one already; which is wrong. I have only penned down a motherly letter full of love, just as she would. That’s all.

      I accept your thanks graciously and return you the same for supporting my blog. You are awesome. Have a beautiful Sunday.

      Hugs XO

      Reply

      1. There was no confusion on my part Urvashi. The sharing of deep longing of a family and relationship is always a demonstration of a internal strength. You are consistently romantic in your writings revealing a heart that seeks goodness in people. Keep up the posts and I look forward to your next post. Blessings.
        With Hugs.
        Denny

        Reply

        1. Thanks for the warm comment, Denny. I always encourage people to have faith and to believe in love and hope. I know I’m an intense romantic. I can’t help it! I grew up watching Titanic, Romeo & Juliet and The Notebook like 7262245 times along with reading Mills & Boons and Shakespeare! Haha!

          Sending you love and light, hugs! X

          Reply

      2. I am doing well Urvashi. Thank you for your kindness in asking. I have the blessing of a wonderful relationship with my son as he finishes school and looking to college or some other specialized training. Every day is an adventure as the two of learn of the art of relationship be being dad and mom, not easy and him being a teenager. This helps keep me on the alert for opportunities of teachable moments to have conversations about life events. It is truly a joyful challenge part of the process of socializing a young person to be able to deal with the world and what it dishes out to us. And of course life events are usually unpredictable and happen and life speed!

        I truly hope you find a caring man to share your life with and build a family. Do not lean too heavily on your lists that you have for this man, life is surprising the way it fulfills our dreams and builds us into strong people. And if you want a nickel’s worth of free advice, do not be compromising on the areas of love, kindness and respect. Without these foundational aspects it is very difficult to build a strong secure relationship.

        And how are you doing you doing Urvashi? Thank you again for asking how I am and blessings to you till next time!
        Your friend,
        Denny

        Reply

        1. Aw Denny! You are truly one of the most generous souls that I have met in the blogosphere. Sometimes I strongly feel people like you are God-sent to me in many ways; for which I am immensely grateful.

          I’m glad to know of the formidable relationship between you and your teenage son. Fathering an adolescent boy is nothing short of a challenge but the reward of a lifetime of love is priceless. Enjoy the experience.

          Thank you for the advice. I do agree with everything you have said about the importance of love, kindness and respect in the domain of marriage. And I thank you again for the blessings you have showered upon me.

          Sending good wishes, peace and joy all your way! See you!

          Hugs! XO

          Reply

  74. I never wrote anything as eloquent as this to my daughter who is now and a mother herself. . But I think I gave her the same guidance for her life. She has battled through some real challenges and has emerged as a warrior, independent, brilliant and full of compassion for others. I am very proud of her. I enjoyed your letter immensely. These are wise words so well- written. Thank you.

    Reply

    1. And neither did I receive such a letter from my mother myself when I was in my teens. But the upbringing I got was just the same. I must say, you’ve been a sensitive, an amazing, and an open-minded mother, Anne. Daughters thrive in this kind of milieu. 🙂

      Reply

  85. Its marvellous, isn’t it? Especially the first time round. And scary. You have your dreams and plans. You do your best and then keep your fingers crossed that you’ve done enough. Beautiful post.

    Reply

  86. Love this 🙂 Thank you for sharing this. A mothers love for our children is something where words do not suffice. I am sharing on facebook. I would repost on here but am nowhere near comfortable enough as a blogger to do so yet.

    Reply

  87. What a great, insightful post. I love how you emphasize you want her to be strong, independent and accountable to only herself. Your daughter is lucky to have such a caring mom !!

    Reply

    1. Thanks a lot for the lovely words. I believe girls have to be empowered at a young age itself for them to have a sense of direction and of responsibility. These are the little girls who grow up to be complete women fully capable to be in charge of their own well-being.

      Reply

  92. “Being your mother, honey, I bestowed upon you this thing called ‘life’. Yet, you have to feel alive. And for you to feel alive, you should forge your own identity. You have been put on The Promised Land with a divine purpose. It is your cardinal mission to honour and give meaning to your life by discovering the reason for your existence. ”

    -I wish this mindset would extend to Tiger Moms and Tiger Dads. For them, the line would be –

    “Being your parent I bestowed upon you this thing called ‘life’. For you to feel alive, you should forge your own identity.
    As long as it’s one that I approve of.
    You have been put on The Promised Land with a divine purpose.
    To not embarrass your family with your ‘actual dreams’.
    It is your cardinal mission to make enough money to take care of me when I’m old.
    Honour and give meaning to your family. I will tell you the reason for your existence and if you don’t like it, I will try again. Until you make enough money or, marry someone, to move across the country and never speak to me again. ”

    😀

    Reply

  99. Ah jeeez … I can barely see through my tears to type this…

    Stunning.

    This morning as I rushed to the side of my own 19 year old after she had turned her car over on an icy road, I felt ALL these things. Very poignant. x

    Reply

  100. I hope there comes a day when your future daughter browses the internet and she sees this post. It’s heartwarming and filled with love, really touching.

    Reply

  104. I followed your blog. If you wish you could follow my blog. And one more request from my side is please watch all the videos from my youtube channel. For more details refer my recent post. If you like those videos subscribe to my channel to support me.

    Reply

  108. Wonderfully written! It’s funny, I’ve been thinking about writing a letter to my future self and in some ways, it’s a little like sending one to a daughter. Thanks for this inspiration!

    Reply
  115. Pingback: Letter to my future daughter — The Little Mermaid – après-pensées

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