What’s Not To Love About Mauritius?

Cultivated fields and greenery lush

A landscape-so picturesque! So plush!

Where the crisp turquoise sea is its own master

Life doesn’t go by any faster.

The soul flies to the Pearly Gates

Into the soundlessness of nature’s solace

Goodness gracious!

Such is the alluring charm of Mauritius.

What’s not to love about this tiny, yet surpassingly gorgeous island in the middle of the Indian Ocean? Covering an area of just 2, 040 square kilometres, you can tour the whole coast in less than a day with a car! Wow! Over the years, many of you have have been curious to know where does ‘The Little Mermaid’ come from. Does she really belong to the deep, mystic oceans? Or what inspired her to name her site ‘The Little Mermaid’? Should I be disarmingly open with you, finding a perfect name for my website was not rocket science for me. Coming from Mauritius, the land of chimerical mermaids where the bucolic environment is the elixir of peace and unity, I deemed it ideal to call my blog thus for the name spells out the rare exotic beauty of the country and its inhabitants.

Do you want to discover the enchanting richness of Mauritius?

Read on…

1. Sun

Due to its geographical location, Mauritius is blessed with a summery climate all throughout the year. In fact, it has only two seasons-summer and winter. The coolest months are July and August when average minimum night temperatures drop down to 16.4 degrees celsius, which is pretty endurable compared to other countries. Mauritius boasts of spectacular sunrise and sunset scenes that are best viewed along the coastal regions. Eye-catching sunrises can be savoured in the east like at Palmar Beach; the radiating soft glow of the sun in the morning from the horizon is mightily bright and mesmerising. Sunsets are dreamy in the west, for instance at Flic-en-Flac Beach where the sun looks like it’s gradually sinking into the pristine waters below.

Sunset at Flic-en-Flac Beach

Sunrise at Palmar Beach

2. Sea and Sand

Words fail to describe the irrepressible pulchritude of the beaches in Mauritius. The seashores are silken white sandy-perfect to entice mermaids to visit the land of Shangri-La. The island is grandiosely surrounded by sparkling blue zircon waters with the sun’s rays cutting through the gentle waves, ressembling miniscule pieces of diamond. Speaking from my personal experience, swimming in the coral reef blue lagoons and luxuriating in the ocean’s intoxicating tease for hours is therapeutic to the mind, body and soul as well. Moreover, water activities like scuba diving, water skiing, parasailing, big-game fishing and sea kayak amongst others are super exciting and fun.

Belle Mare Beach

Le Morne Beach

3. Landscape

Mauritius is a relatively nascent island, having been created by volcanic eruption some 8-10 million years ago. Majestic mountains like the Piton de La Petite Rivière Noire, Pieter Both, Le Pouce and Le Morne Brabant are a hiker’s sanctum. The Black River Gorges National Park which is the largest national park on the island is home to endemic birds: the lovely Pink Pigeon, the white-tailed Paille-en-queue and the mischievous Mauritian Fruit Bat. Impressive waterfalls like Eau Bleue Waterfall and Tamarind Falls, better known as Sept Cascades among the locals, are common spots for nature lovers. There are four famous volcanoes in Mauritius namely Trou aux Cerfs, Trou Kanaka, Bassin Blanc and Grand Bassin, each with its spellbinding historical opulence.

Pieter Both Mountain

Chamarel Waterfall

Grand Bassin Lake

Trou aux Cerfs Volcano

4. Cuisine Créole

Mauritian cuisine is a marvellous fusion of Chinese, European, African and Indian dishes, all slightly remoulded over time to reflect the country’s cultural distinctiveness. The dholl puri, best served with spicy bean curry, rougaille and chutney is unmistakably the most popular street food around. Mauritians proudly start their day with a cuppa of the typical ambrosial vanilla tea. And how can we possibly miss talking about SEAFOODS? From the fishermen’s Cordonnier, Vielle Rouge and Capitaine to the prodigious variety of crabs, lobsters and octopuses, it is a gourmet’s joy to indulge in the delectable seafoods. Furthermore, the Mauritian Biryani, boulettes, Alouda, gâteaux patates, gâteaux piments and samoussas are a plenary treat for the taste buds. The list of mouth-watering tropical fruits is endless, including juicy mangoes, sweet litchis, succulent longans and fleshy coconuts.

Dholl Puri

Grilled tropical fish

Deep fried Mauritian snacks

5. Places of Interest

Whether you are a physisaphile or an urbanite, Mauritius has numerous places of interest to cater to the whims and fancies of its population. The Bagatelle Shopping Mall, Le Caudan Waterfront and Cascavelle Shopping Village host a multitude of high-end shops and extravagant restaurants. There are also a few well-maintained antiquated museums that sustain the colourful heritage of the country. By way of illustration, at L’Aventure du Sucre, you can get a notion of sugar production in Mauritius. The Casela World of Adventures and La Vanille Nature Park are two huge wildlife outdoor parks where people can meet thousands of animal species.

Le Caudan Waterfront

Bagatelle Mall of Mauritius

Cascavelle Shopping Village

6. Mixed Religion

The island is a multi-ethnic society composed of Indian, Muslim, African, French and Chinese descents who live in harmony with one another, respecting the values of religious tolerance, civic peace and democratic freedom. Mauritians glorify celebrations such as Easter, Christmas, Maha Shivaratri, Eid al-fitra and the Spring Festival with equal aplomb. There is an unshakable esprit de corps among the indigenous people as they pride themselves in their native uniqueness. Besides, the folks are notable for their extraordinary warmth and lavish hospitality towards tourists.

Thaipoosam Cavadee

Spring Festival

Maha Shivaratri

7. Lifestyle

The new generation of Mauritians, in general, has adopted a more relaxed outlook on life. They are mostly laid-back and easy-going in contrast to their foreparents who had nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat to build a coruscating sophisticated Mauritius. One of the oldest, most entertaining activities enjoyed in the country is horse-racing. Movie theatres and a promenade with family and friends ensure quality bonding time. People use the Créole language although they are fluent in at least three languages-English and French being the most widely spoken ones. The Sega is an intensely vibrant, typical folklore dance in Mauritius which is the musical expression of the Mauritian way of life filled with gaiety and peppiness.

Horce racing at Champ de Mars

A group of artists performing the sega dance

Benefiting from a long history of political stability, a good governance record and a robust commercial infrastructure, the island is regularly hailed as one of Africa’s success stories. Since it gained independence in 1968, despite not being endowed with exploitable natural resources, it has continually and intrepidly undergone major economic transformations. Today, it relies heavily on its offshore, finance and tourism sectors to sustain its growth. Mauritius is, in effect, a well-connected international hub with different airlines from a number of different countries. It is indeed a beauty and Mark Twain was not wrong when he said, “Mauritius was made first, and then heaven; and heaven was copied after Mauritius.”

Copyrights © 2016 The Little Mermaid. All Rights Reserved

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Beware! Facebook Is Satan’s Tool! 

In this current age of an inordinately dangerous swell of anti-intellectualism and information warfare, Facebook is, in great measure, accountable for the demise of culture, stability and privacy in our lives. I’m not the least bit sorry to aver, esteemed tech mogul-Mr Mark Zukerberg, aka The Android, that your creation has brought about a widespread degradation of human values, of talents and of our ability to perceive logically. But why would you even give a monkey’s at all when you have built yourself and your future generations an empire of cosmic proportions? Admist the ongoing Facebook and Cambridge Analytica scandal, there could not be a more providential time for me to express the reasons for my surging hate when using this overrated social media platform.

1. For a start, those who use a fake name and a fake profile picture make my blood boil.

I understand that the Dad’s Princess, the Mumma’s Angel and the Queen Bella should either be suffering from a special kind of identity crisis or they must be living in the land of Narnia; but I wonder why they feel compelled to let the whole world know about that. Gauche, mousy idiots! And I swear that over my regrettably dragged-out eight years’ subscription to the site, I have also come across one profile of a teen girl named ‘Zoe’s Property’, nicknamed ‘Happily Taken’. Believe me! In these scenarios, even Amnesty International and the UN can do sweet fuck all for the rights of those desperate little hogs. Wait a minute-it doesn’t end here. People who have a face that only a mother could love are often seen uploading Brad Pitt’s or Selena Gomez’s photos as their profile pictures. Seriously, these are the most insecure retards ever who have no existence in my world. Argh! It never rains but it pours.

2. Those who post every single detail of their wretched lives have to be skinned alive.

Facebook should, in my humble opinion, be used to share significant milestones about your life or moments that touched you in a way or another with your close friends and relatives. A humdrum status as “Heading to the grocery store, gotta start laundry, change the diapers then prepare dinner” or something as “Feeling blessed to check in to the hospital to visit Uncle Jack during his last days” irk the shit out of me. And then, there are couples who write all over each other’s walls to express their mutual love and affection- EW STAAAPH IT! You are making the rest of us sick with your lovey dovey posts. The same goes for parents who are every other day posting about how proud and fortunate they feel to have a uniquely talented little Picasso of a son who very ingeniously, I must say, can make this:

To those facebookers who cannot resist the demonic temptation to post dry statuses: Lets’s play hide-and-seek. I’ll hide your lame status updates while you seek a life! Done?

3. Vaguebooking is a sin.

Vaguebooking is when you really want to divulge something but you hesitate to jump off that scary cliff, so you post it on facebook anyways because you PURPOSEFULLY write it in such a way that it would take an army of code-breakers, a psychic and the entire FBI to figure out what the hell you just said. Mary is “wondering if it’s all worth it in the end.” Charles writes: “Please forgive me. It hurts so bad.” Brainless attention-seeking bastards! What’s the meaning of this? I’m almost certain that even Dan Brown would not be able to decode those kind of cryptic messages in at least three sequels of his thrillers.

4. Extremists’ rants? Now, that’s going too far!

There are people who use Facebook to pass on unhealthy extremist ideas in a very bad taste- spanning from political, religious, feminist to vegan to their fellow friends. Please keep your personal attacks against Hillary to yourself. It’s alright if you are imbecile enough to believe your God is better than mine, but for Pete’s sake, do not sing the glory of His name on Facebook all day long.

5. The I-believe-everything-I-read posts? Ça fait chier!

Facebook is inundated with those bullshitier than bullshit ever-elusive chain letters along the lines of “Share this or you will die”, “Type AMEN and you will be kissed by the love of your life before midnight”, “Comment YES if you want to receive a pot of gold within the next three days” or “Like the post and you will save this child from cancer”. Seriously though, how devoid of common sense and intelligence do people have to be, to be sharing this crap?

Likewise, ‘nincompoop’ is too mild a word to describe people who share bogus breaking news from fake sites on the internet such as, umm ‘purplepigeon.com’ and then go about screaming bloody murder because they have genuinely believed whatever they have read to be true.

6. Those excessive in-your-face selfies are the gravest of all Facebook faux pas.

Before Facebook, I did not know there were so many places where people can take photos. Now my wall is full of people posting selfies taken from everywhere one can possibly imagine: selfie of them waking up, selfie of them brushing their teeth, selfie of them pouting in their Victoria’s Secret lingerie, selfie of them on the loo having a bout of severe morning diarrhoea, selfie of them having a bath, selfie of them having breakfast, selfie of them getting ready for work, selfie of them in their car, selfie of them driving at 120 km/h, selfie of them in the office parking, selfie of them with their colleagues during a formal meeting, selfie of them with their boss even as he threatens to fire them if they don’t stop taking selfies, selfie of them at their table, selfie of them underwater, selfie of them in an operation theatre having a C-section, selfie of them working out, selfie of them before and after sex just so we can catch that post-orgasmic glow on their face and so on. The list is basically limitless.

7. Receiving odd friend requests is sort of bizarre and irritating AF.

Okay listen! Are you the type of person to strike a conversation with random people you meet on the streets to ask them about how their day went, what they had for dinner last night or what are they most looking forward to for the rest of the day? Or are you someone who bangs on the door of just anybody to query if they are doing fine? No? Then why hell do you send friend requests to strangers on Facebook and ask them such infuriating questions?

Facebook is not a stupid popularity competition. You rather come across as a maniac creep. That’s it! It also ticks me off when I receive friend requests from:
– People I hate (I don’t care if you are a neighbour or a blood relative whatever).
– Hideous guys who want to woo me. (I know I have an itsy-bitsy of je ne sais quoi that is particularly charming but isn’t it weird for someone I don’t even know to have a crush on me and send me a request?)
– Colleagues who do not understand the fine line between a co-worker and a friend.

8. Facebook predominantly underpins the notion that dumbness is in vogue.


A sense of collective madness seems to have taken over Facebookers. So, a man posts about the need to save the Northern White Rhinos from extinction through IVF and stem cells gets at most two likes and one comment from his roommate saying, “Pal, you really need to get laid”. On the other hand, a woman posts “I bought an orange today” gets 124 likes with 72 comments within a span of a few minutes.

Thus, you’d be dreadfully mistaken if you thought that the number of likes and comments on Facebook is directly proportional to the level of intellect of an individual. In the majority of cases, the two are inversely correlated.

9. Oh, good grief! Enough with the silly game invites!

Folks, let me be clear. I haven’t the slightest desire to waste my time on Facebook playing games. If you do spend your time on it, fine. That’s your business. But please do not send me nasty game invitations to participate in Farmville, Zooville or Candy Crush Saga. If you are really desperate, I will happily suggest a place for you where you can stuff your stupid game. And it is not far from your mouth as only an idiot talking/thinking through that particular orifice can have the nerve to think that anyone else on this planet is sufficiently brain dead to play these puerile games. Okay?

To cut off short, Facebook is Satan’s tool which exploits the vulnerability in human psychology by ensnaring people in the dopamine loop. Instant likes and comments trigger the feel-good factor in the brain, thereby rendering its digital consumption addictive. Yet, the good news is that you hold the reins and you have the power to decide what you share, with whom you share and how much of your time you share on the social media platform. Therefore, use it in a productive way. Do not abuse; for if you do, your next selfie shall be in a mental asylum! You’ve been warned!

Double, double toil and trouble;
Diaries burn and posts bubble.
Selfie of a fenny snake,
On Facebook boil and bake;
Eye of cyclone and toe of baby,
Wool of grandma and tongue of lady,
Jacob’s tag and Mia’s poke,
Lizard’s leg and howlet’s stroke,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

Double, double toil and trouble;
Diaries burn and posts bubble.
Cool it with a friend’s comment,
Then the charm is firm and well-meant.

(Adapted from: William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act 4, Scene 1)

Copyrights © 2016 The Little Mermaid. All Rights Reserved

Define Love In One Word

With Valentine’s Day drawing near, The Little Mermaid is organising a very entertaining game for all of you! Yeah! It is open for all of you, including those barely in love, those moderately in love and those deeply in love. And because I am unambiguously against any sort of favouritism, even the ‘love sucks’, ‘single rocks’ and ‘single but ready to mingle’ kind of people are eligible for participation. Oh really?! Then, it surely sounds like a blast. Hurray!

So, here is goes…

In honour of Saint Valentine and for the spirit of romance during the delightful month of February,

DEFINE LOVE IN ONE WORD.

Let’s get it rolling, shall we?

P.S. Please comment, share, reblog and like as many times as you can. The thread of love is limitless.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2018

-Knock! Knock!

 -Who’s there?

-New Year!!!

Ding-a-ling! I can hear the dulcet timbre of Christmas and New Year as we gladly mosey into 2018. What a world of mirthful jollity a novel beginning brings! 

Inside each one of us, there is a river that flows. That river is hope. When overflowing with love, it keeps everything fresh and alive everywhere it reaches, enhancing the beauty of the landscape. However, after a long severe drought, it slowly dries up; leaving in its aftermath unrealised dreams and unmet goals. Absence of hope is despair and despair is essentially destructive. We all need to struggle to keep hope alive and not surrender to despair because nobody can survive without hope. We need hope as we need oxygen. The act of living is, in itself, an act of hope. The festive season is like monsoon which exuberantly fills up the dried up river- it’s a compass to those who have lost their bearings, to some- a license to renew forgotten promises. The gist of celebrating New Year is to leave behind all your mental stress as you see the sparkle in the eyes of your loved ones, to burn your negative emotions in the incandescent fireworks and to ditch your past histories and anything that makes you unhappy as you pop open that splendid bottle of champagne. This is the best part of New Year’s- a psychological lift that every human being needs from time to time. 

One question which irks all of us, however is, “Why do we feel that time is flying us by?” A review of my year so far will be a series of shots of me saying: “I can’t believe it’s 2017 already. I can’t believe Christmas is gone. I can’t believe I’m back to work. I can’t believe the weekend is almost over. I can’t believe it’s Monday already. I can’t believe the week is over. I can’t believe it’s the weekend again. I can’t believe January is over already. I can’t believe October is about to end. I can’t believe it’s December already. I can’t believe 2017 is almost over.” As we grow older, we have the freakish impression that time moves faster and faster, that the earlier periods of our lives seemed to last longer. Like nowadays, the weekend seems to be only thirty minutes long. It is as if, unbeknown to us, time is secretly being coarctated. I think the reason for this disparity in our experience of time has to do with how involved we are with the events in our life. Something that captures our attention and emotion will seem to last longer. The problem is that nowadays we live our life like we are travelling in a speedboat, in a race against time, always focusing on our next destination. We live our life hopping from one deadline to another, one project to another, one birthday in the weekend to a birthday in the next, a football league match this week to a cup match the next. Our attention is not in the present moment, we are always being dragged away from what we consider to be mundane activities that yet constitute the major chunk of our life. If we want to change things around onwards, we probably need to think of the journey like we are travelling in a glass bottom boat, where there are many wonders right here under our feet, giving depth to every moment and making the journey more long-lasting and pleasurable. 

To mark the occasion, I’d like to remind you, my loved ones, of our priorities: to make the world we live in a kinder, more peaceful place through our actions. Help whoever you can, whenever you can. I believe success, when shared, has a multiplier effect. It’s not about leaving anyone behind. It’s about helping pull everyone, and humanity in general, ahead. Do not be stingy when it comes to sharing love, compassion and sympathy; for in the end, from dust we were made, to dust we shall return.

Guys, I cannot fathom driving without street signs, traffic signals and no rules. Just the same, I cannot fathom blogging without YOU! Yes! YOU! YOU’RE FAB! Blogging has been the ideal escape for my soul struggling from the darkness of worldly wickedness to the light of fond camaraderie. You have all been very amiable to me and appreciative of my posts throughout 2017. Words alone cannot express the immense gratitude I feel in my heart. You, 4 191 people, deserve more than mere thank you’s, really. As I come to a close, I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 2018. May the year 2018 give you the opportunity to realize your dreams, rediscover your strengths, muster your willpower and rejoice in the simple pleasures that life would bring your way. 

I love you! 

Cheers! 

Propelling Your Blog As The Next Hot Ticket Item

Eureka! I’ve finally discovered the secret to blogging success! The good news is that I can’t wait to share the magic potion with all of you! Whoot!

Ready?

Let’s get started…

What is ‘blogging success’ at the outset? Is it something achievable? Is it quantifiable? For me, a successful blog is one that is loved by all. A blog that is pampered in its niche attracts thousands of visitors, garners hundreds of likes and is home to a never-ending string of comments. A successful blog stands out from the rest because, well, it is amazeballs. But what does it take for an amateur to get there? Did it cross your mind at some point in time that those established bloggers were starters, like you? Yeah? Good!

1. Passion

 

Passion is the key to unlock the door to blogging success. When you blog, you have to do it out of love, for its own sake; and not for money or for digital attention. Let me share my story with you. As a little child, whenever I was sad or depressed, I closed myself in my room, took a paper and scribbled down my woes. Sometimes they would be letters which I would write to God while at other times I’d be producing personal journals. It turned out that when I looked back the day after and read my musings, they were way better than what I’d have written had I not been miserable. And quite funnily, I would treasure those writings in a well-hidden precious box to re-read them again and again. (I still haven’t let go of this habit.) All just to tell you that you should be driven by your emotions when you blog. Do it for fun otherwise it will end up being a fiasco.

2. Create meaningful content.

 

This one is pretty straightforward. While facebook might give you the carte blanche for posting things like, “I’m feeling excited to wear coconut leaves on top of the mountain”, the blogosphere will simply regard you as someone as thick as two short planks. When you blog, you have to articulate your thoughts and feelings lucidly. The 5W-1H is your best friend. Explain your sentiments. According to the National Center for Biotechnology Information at the US National Library of Medicine, the average attention span of a human being has plummeted from 12 seconds in 2000 to 8 seconds in 2013, which is one second less than the attention span of a goldfish. Scary! So, always serve your audience with educative, inspiring and humorous blogs that will keep them hooked till the last sentence.

3. Focus on quality.

You know, good grammar is like personal hygiene-you can ignore it if you want, but don’t be surprised when people draw out their conclusions.

Guys, I’m not asking you to deliver in a ridiculously fake RP English either. The “Golly gosh! It has been yonks since one has last conversed with you, I must say. How d’you do?” is a no-no. You’ll be making a fool out of yourself. Cut the crap. It’s a bit much. You only have to master the rudimentary rules of grammar, punctuation marks and vocabulary. I advise you to avoid the “Haay wutt r yew doin?!” lest a random blogger replies, “about to throw a dictionary at your face”.

4. Be original.


The blogosphere is bursting at the seams with a considerable number of bloggers and the only way to set yourself apart is by confidently using your own voice. Let your personality dazzle through your words. Do not plagiarize, for plagiarism is the mark of the lowest of the lows.

“When you have wit of your own, it’s a pleasure to credit other people for theirs.” -Criss Jami 

When you quote something as I have done above, use quotation marks, provide a citation within the text and make sure to link the citation of the quoted material to the reference. By doing that, you will be scoring credibility points. Not to mention, you will sound like a professional.

5. Presentation

Without further ado, let’s get down to the next vital factor which is presentation. We might preach about not judging a book by its cover and bla-bla-bla but who turns heads in the street?

She does.

Quite similarly, the appearance of your blog matters a lot. Your blog post could contain the most groundbreaking content but if it doesn’t seem inviting, attractive and easy to navigate, you’re less likely to earn social shares or natural backlinks. Use colours, bullet points, photos and gifs, inter alia, as your props.

6. Encourage community.

You have to realise that there is no Sophia behind the screen on the other side of the world. There is a real walking, talking, living human who is probably going through the same struggles as you are. Successful bloggers respect other fellows in the blogosphere. They respond to comments left by their readers, they read, ‘like’ and ‘re-blog’ others’ posts. They are the ones who make friends all along and support them by showing blog-love. You have to be generous and considerate.

7. Consistency

 

The most-watched TV shows with the highest ratings are those that are broadcast consistently. In the same manner, maintaining consistency and frequency in your publishing schedule is a critical component of your success as a blogger. The more frequently you update your site with fresh content, the more chances you have to strengthen your SEO and be indexed higher by search engines. Readers will also notice your pattern, guesstimate your next blog and flock to your site at that particular time. It works wonders in the long-run.

In a nutshell, no successful blogger slid in on a shrimp sandwich. They worked hard, devoted ample time, resources and energy before they were recognized. Take it easy. Be patient. It’s not gonna happen overnight but with the proper techniques and efforts, you’ll get there, too.

DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS?

 DO YOU WANT TO ADD MORE TO THE LIST? 

HIT THEM IN THE COMMENTS SECTION BELOW! I’M ALL EARS!

Letter to my future daughter

Dear Alexandria,

As you reach your tender sixteen, there are a couple of things I would like to share with you. I want to start by telling you, my beloved daughter, that I love you endlessly. I fell in love with you when I heard your heartbeat for the first time. I fell in love with you when you clutched to my bosom in the middle of the night. I fell in love with the way you smile, with how you smell, with every single piece of you because you are a part of me. You have to know that, to me, you are far more precious than the Kohinoor diamond. Alex, you are a blessing in my life and I’m forever grateful to God for proffering me the good fortune to be your mother.

Darling, you are not born with a silver spoon in your mouth. You are born with a sword in your hand. You are neither the hopeless princess of a disneyland nor the delicate sleeping beauty of a fairytale. No! You are not any of those. You are a warrior. A true warrior. You do not need someone to save your bacon because inside you lies all the might to guard yourself and others as well from the demons. You are that much admirably invincible, my goddess. You’re growing up to be a beautiful woman tomorrow. Seek not, my child, to be the evanescent beauty that pleases nothing but the eyes. I’d rather you seek to be the sempiternal beauty that pleases everything but the eyes. Oh dear! What fools these mortals be who acquiesce to society’s decree. Fair or ebony, tall or knee high to a gnat, it matters not; for beauty transcends the conventional to alight on a face- as fresh as the morning dew, to alight on lips- words they enounce soft and gentle and to alight in a heart- generous and tolerant. This is the unvarnished definition of beauty, love.

Being your mother, honey, I bestowed upon you this thing called ‘life’. Yet, you have to feel alive. And for you to feel alive, you should forge your own identity. You have been put on The Promised Land with a divine purpose. It is your cardinal mission to honour and give meaning to your life by discovering the reason for your existence. Once you uncover your ikigai, stick to it like a moth to the flame. Earn your livelihood around what spurs you to get out of bed at 5 a.m. You enjoy photography? Be a photographer. You enjoy cooking? Be a chef. I’d be proud if you choose to get your hands dirty just to keep your passion burning. Pour your heart into what you do, and I promise you will wear the crown in your chosen field one day. Do not get too comfortable settling. It’s like being trapped in a dark, scary room where you are screaming at the top of your lungs with no one to hear you. You don’t want that, do you? So, embrace challenges. Be on the go. Try. Rise. Fall. A thousand times over. Experience life-both with its lemons; and colourful spices and flavours. Flatline is for the dead.

Alex, you are bathing in the fountain of youth. You are just about to explore the different facets of your sexuality. Your sacred feminine spirit is calling on you to wear that little black dress, to do that gorgeous make-up or to dream of a charming prince on a white horse. However, there will also be moments of skepticism and disdain when you will feel like the ugliest creature on Earth, especially after watching The Oscars. It’s perfectly normal. Through it all, I want you to act responsibly with your body. You owe it to yourself. Your first kiss with your boyfriend might make you want to believe in French romance and the happily-ever-after kind of love. Why shouldn’t you anyway? But I want you to believe in second love, too. The kind of love that feels like hushed waves washing over a dry shore-yeah, it does exist. I’m not gonna ask you to look at the world through rose-tinted glasses. It’s also a cruel place here, my child. A pig-ignorant society will judge you. There will be men who will drool over your body. You must absolutely learn to say ‘no’ without apology. It is not your responsibility to smother the lingering lewd thoughts men have around your physical features or material attire. You are not accountable to me, let alone to your next-door neighbour, or your uncles and aunts. You are accountable to your conscience. Just do good no matter what and stay true to who you are.

A rich life is what you deserve, Alexandria. Travel to places you’ve never been before. Learn a new language. Read books. Laugh out loud. Do the bungee jump. Dance under the moonlight. Be goofy. Love fiercely. Eat your greens. Lift heavy. Rock your heels. You have but one life to make the most out of it. Baby, you are a powerhouse of intellect, courage and joy. You are a million stars under a sky. Sprinkle your angelic shine everywhere you go. Carpe diem!

I got your back!

Your loving,

Mama

Forewarning Signs That You Have An Over-possessive And An Insecure Psycho As Your Boyfriend

N.B. The article has been written assuming the male is the over-possessive one. However, it can be either way. 

Alright guys! Know that feel of getting super excited about walking in a zoo where you encounter a myriad of wild and uncivilised creatures? Well that’s exactly how it feels when you enter the vast dating world, the sole difference being that in the latter case, the excitement lasts just for one hundredth of a nanosecond. Yeah! Joking aside, I’ve very recently come out of a toxic, long distance relationship with an edgy, mentally deranged, over-possessive boyfriend. It was a highly unpleasant experience. By sharing the traumatic ordeal with you on this platform, I want you to grow, to learn and most importantly to discern. I try to build others up because I know what it’s like to be torn down. 

Now, let’s get back to the main issue-What is over-possessiveness and why is it venomous in a couple? By definition, to ‘possess’ is to own, to control, to dominate. You can possess, thereby claim your right to ownership over a car, a house or a book. But you can’t possess an individual to keep her with you. Unlike an inanimate material object, a person is to be loved, valued, honoured and cherished in her own kingdom. Being over-possessive towards someone is therefore easily seen as a manifestation of one’s inherent weaknesses, limitations, insecurities, needs and fears. If you are in a relationship with an insecure person, most of your energy will be spent in constantly proving your sentiments to him. No matter how much you try to convince him of his awesomeness or to heal him with patience and compassion, all your efforts will go down the drain if that person doesn’t face his demons himself. Below are the forewarning signs that your boyfriend is over-possessive and why you, as a strong woman, need to take the exit door as soon as possible. 

1. Every male is a potential threat to him.

-You go to the gym for workouts.

Translates to: You are kinkily sitting on your fitness instructor’s lap while he is demonstrating to you how to execute a proper bench press.

-You visit your dentist for a dental check-up.

Translates to: You are opening your mouth wide and giving him a blowjob inside the room.

-You strike a business deal with a partner.

Translates to: The businessman agreed to do business with you because you are sleeping with him. 

-A family member genuinely compliments you.

Translates to: He is flirting with you. 

Gross thinking! I know, right? But I’m telling you. An over-possessive person’s mind is always filled with such perverted suppositions and you’ll gradually begin to wonder if he is not actually the one involved in all those cheap deeds behind your back?!

2. He deprecatingly downplays your strengths, achievements and abilities.

The end goal of the persons involved in a healthy romantic relationship should be to inspire each other intellectually, emotionally, physically and spiritually. The relationship functions as one team. For all that, a goosey boyfriend who unfortunately ain’t got the brains God gave a squirrel will view your freedom, confidence and power to hold your own in the relationship a menace to his bloated ego. He will find ways to bring you down for being an independent badass without his help. Instead of motivating you and feeling proud of you, he will attempt to convince you that you are nothing without him. You scare his little pussy (insecure men have a pussy, don’t you laugh) because you are whole all by yourself. Now, can you imagine, my boyfriend has never ever complimented me for my looks or anything like that? 99% of the time I’m  the one to initiate intimacy and Mr Insecure is either busy or not in the mood? The reality of truth is different. He is jealous, hence shying away from positive reinforcement.

3. He stalks you everywhere.

An acquaintance has ‘liked’ your picture on facebook? Great! World War 3 starts. You were last seen online on WhatsApp 16 minutes ago and accidentally missed replying to his message? You’re dead! You didn’t send him a good morning text the moment you woke up? Ah, then forget about having a proper conversation with him for the rest of the day. The psycho will inscrutably have an eye on each of your moves on social media and in real life.

He destroys your right to privacy and to your ‘me time’. He makes you feel untrustworthy by doubting your loyalty. If you encourage this demented behaviour by validating your faithfulness whenever he takes the odious liberty to point a finger at you, you’ll eventually reach a point where you have to ask for his permission before going for a piss. You’ll be engulfed with suffocation. 

4. He creates drama in the relationship.

An over-possessive boyfriend is generally a selfish, demanding, inconsiderate brat who believes himself to be the absolute centre of the universe. He will go to any length to receive your undivided attention. He is more likely to engage in drama and wants you to partake in his horseshit that drains you of happiness, tranquility and bliss. He thinks that he is spicing up the relationship by bringing in tears, tension, suspense and stress. 

But listen carefully girl! You can’t control his comportment. You don’t even want that burden. But you can refuse to play the second fiddle in his story. You have standards-they step up or they step out. Life is short. Peace of mind is a priority. Fuck him. Sometimes it takes balls to be a woman. 

5. He tricks you into accepting that he is the ultra ‘beau idéal’.

He has a successful career, a nice house, a dick and is an excellent bathroom singer. So what? Does this give him the right to bully you and to make you feel worthless? Hello Mr, there are approximately 3, 571, 374, 099 males in the world, who are a million times more capable than you, willing to give away everything to be at your coveted place. Okay? Suck up this self-aggrandizing demeanor. A strong woman is with you out of choice, never out of need. An over-possessive person, because he sees you as his property, takes you for granted. Little does he realise that only a fool would gamble with something so rare and precious as a good woman’s love. Just because he is too self-absorbed and a control freak who cannot value you doesn’t mean that you are not valuable. A masterpiece does not stop being a masterpiece because the lights are off and the doors are closed. 

6. He plays the victim to get his way. 

My boyfriend had no qualms of conscience at all to apologize when he wronged me. Words like ‘Please’, ‘Sorry’ and ‘Thank You’ are alien to him because he is always right. As a matter of fact, mature masculinity is not abusive, domineering or grandiose but generative, creative and empowering. A real man is vulnerable without shame. He has learnt how to swallow his pride. He has learnt how to forgive. An over-possessive lunatic exhibits narcissistic traits with an exaggerated sense of self-importance. Filled with envy and arrogance, he will exploit you emotionally to get things done as he so desires. In a narcissist’s mind, they can never be the bad guy. They can never faulter. They can never sin. They are the most honourable saints to have trodden the planet.


7. He resorts to extreme measures to ‘punish’ you.

“When you love something, you don’t threaten it. You don’t punish it. You fight for it. You take care of it. You put it first.”-Leslie Knope

By default, an insecure person is always afraid that you are going to leave him for someone better. Therefore, he tends to keep you on your toes. The last thing he wants is for you to feel safe and secure in the relationship. It gives him pleasure to be above you in every way and when you feel insecure, it makes him secure in turn. The silent treatment, anger, aggressive talking and frequent threats of break-ups are some of the dangerous tools that he uses to keep you in his grip. 

On a concluding note, an unsurpassable classic masterpiece unto itself, The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran is wisdom spoken. 

MARRIAGE, pg 9

“Then Alrnita spoke again and said, And what of Marriage, master?
And he answerd saying:

You were born together, and together you shall be for evermore.

You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness.

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

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