His Beloved Olivia

A tiny puff of wind
covertly breezed into the room
and elicited a little squirm, rhythmed
from beloved Olivia in full bloom

His tempted tongue, quivering
unfurled her moist nether lips in heat
she moaned, her arched hips wriggling
Holy! What a treat!

He thrust inside with pleasure
gently circling her pink pearl, aroused
so sultry was his muse’s gesture
it left him in utter wows

He fondled, kissed and licked her
savouring the juices nectarean
He sucked over and over
revelling in that one moment utopian

The intensity of her sensations heightened
till she pressed herself against her bourgeois
He captured the glow in her face, enlightened
as she finally let out an ecstatic ‘Ahh’

Forewarning Signs That You Have An Over-possessive And An Insecure Psycho As Your Boyfriend

N.B. The article has been written assuming the male is the over-possessive one. However, it can be either way. 

Alright guys! Know that feel of getting super excited about walking in a zoo where you encounter a myriad of wild and uncivilised creatures? Well that’s exactly how it feels when you enter the vast dating world, the sole difference being that in the latter case, the excitement lasts just for one hundredth of a nanosecond. Yeah! Joking aside, I’ve very recently come out of a toxic, long distance relationship with an edgy, mentally deranged, over-possessive boyfriend. It was a highly unpleasant experience. By sharing the traumatic ordeal with you on this platform, I want you to grow, to learn and most importantly to discern. I try to build others up because I know what it’s like to be torn down. 

Now, let’s get back to the main issue-What is over-possessiveness and why is it venomous in a couple? By definition, to ‘possess’ is to own, to control, to dominate. You can possess, thereby claim your right to ownership over a car, a house or a book. But you can’t possess an individual to keep her with you. Unlike an inanimate material object, a person is to be loved, valued, honoured and cherished in her own kingdom. Being over-possessive towards someone is therefore easily seen as a manifestation of one’s inherent weaknesses, limitations, insecurities, needs and fears. If you are in a relationship with an insecure person, most of your energy will be spent in constantly proving your sentiments to him. No matter how much you try to convince him of his awesomeness or to heal him with patience and compassion, all your efforts will go down the drain if that person doesn’t face his demons himself. Below are the forewarning signs that your boyfriend is over-possessive and why you, as a strong woman, need to take the exit door as soon as possible. 

1. Every male is a potential threat to him.

-You go to the gym for workouts.

Translates to: You are kinkily sitting on your fitness instructor’s lap while he is demonstrating to you how to execute a proper bench press.

-You visit your dentist for a dental check-up.

Translates to: You are opening your mouth wide and giving him a blowjob inside the room.

-You strike a business deal with a partner.

Translates to: The businessman agreed to do business with you because you are sleeping with him. 

-A family member genuinely compliments you.

Translates to: He is flirting with you. 

Gross thinking! I know, right? But I’m telling you. An over-possessive person’s mind is always filled with such perverted suppositions and you’ll gradually begin to wonder if he is not actually the one involved in all those cheap deeds behind your back?!

2. He deprecatingly downplays your strengths, achievements and abilities.

The end goal of the persons involved in a healthy romantic relationship should be to inspire each other intellectually, emotionally, physically and spiritually. The relationship functions as one team. For all that, a goosey boyfriend who unfortunately ain’t got the brains God gave a squirrel will view your freedom, confidence and power to hold your own in the relationship a menace to his bloated ego. He will find ways to bring you down for being an independent badass without his help. Instead of motivating you and feeling proud of you, he will attempt to convince you that you are nothing without him. You scare his little pussy (insecure men have a pussy, don’t you laugh) because you are whole all by yourself. Now, can you imagine, my boyfriend has never ever complimented me for my looks or anything like that? 99% of the time I’m  the one to initiate intimacy and Mr Insecure is either busy or not in the mood? The reality of truth is different. He is jealous, hence shying away from positive reinforcement.

3. He stalks you everywhere.

An acquaintance has ‘liked’ your picture on facebook? Great! World War 3 starts. You were last seen online on WhatsApp 16 minutes ago and accidentally missed replying to his message? You’re dead! You didn’t send him a good morning text the moment you woke up? Ah, then forget about having a proper conversation with him for the rest of the day. The psycho will inscrutably have an eye on each of your moves on social media and in real life.

He destroys your right to privacy and to your ‘me time’. He makes you feel untrustworthy by doubting your loyalty. If you encourage this demented behaviour by validating your faithfulness whenever he takes the odious liberty to point a finger at you, you’ll eventually reach a point where you have to ask for his permission before going for a piss. You’ll be engulfed with suffocation. 

4. He creates drama in the relationship.

An over-possessive boyfriend is generally a selfish, demanding, inconsiderate brat who believes himself to be the absolute centre of the universe. He will go to any length to receive your undivided attention. He is more likely to engage in drama and wants you to partake in his horseshit that drains you of happiness, tranquility and bliss. He thinks that he is spicing up the relationship by bringing in tears, tension, suspense and stress. 

But listen carefully girl! You can’t control his comportment. You don’t even want that burden. But you can refuse to play the second fiddle in his story. You have standards-they step up or they step out. Life is short. Peace of mind is a priority. Fuck him. Sometimes it takes balls to be a woman. 

5. He tricks you into accepting that he is the ultra ‘beau idéal’.

He has a successful career, a nice house, a dick and is an excellent bathroom singer. So what? Does this give him the right to bully you and to make you feel worthless? Hello Mr, there are approximately 3, 571, 374, 099 males in the world, who are a million times more capable than you, willing to give away everything to be at your coveted place. Okay? Suck up this self-aggrandizing demeanor. A strong woman is with you out of choice, never out of need. An over-possessive person, because he sees you as his property, takes you for granted. Little does he realise that only a fool would gamble with something so rare and precious as a good woman’s love. Just because he is too self-absorbed and a control freak who cannot value you doesn’t mean that you are not valuable. A masterpiece does not stop being a masterpiece because the lights are off and the doors are closed. 

6. He plays the victim to get his way. 

My boyfriend had no qualms of conscience at all to apologize when he wronged me. Words like ‘Please’, ‘Sorry’ and ‘Thank You’ are alien to him because he is always right. As a matter of fact, mature masculinity is not abusive, domineering or grandiose but generative, creative and empowering. A real man is vulnerable without shame. He has learnt how to swallow his pride. He has learnt how to forgive. An over-possessive lunatic exhibits narcissistic traits with an exaggerated sense of self-importance. Filled with envy and arrogance, he will exploit you emotionally to get things done as he so desires. In a narcissist’s mind, they can never be the bad guy. They can never faulter. They can never sin. They are the most honourable saints to have trodden the planet.


7. He resorts to extreme measures to ‘punish’ you.

“When you love something, you don’t threaten it. You don’t punish it. You fight for it. You take care of it. You put it first.”-Leslie Knope

By default, an insecure person is always afraid that you are going to leave him for someone better. Therefore, he tends to keep you on your toes. The last thing he wants is for you to feel safe and secure in the relationship. It gives him pleasure to be above you in every way and when you feel insecure, it makes him secure in turn. The silent treatment, anger, aggressive talking and frequent threats of break-ups are some of the dangerous tools that he uses to keep you in his grip. 

On a concluding note, an unsurpassable classic masterpiece unto itself, The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran is wisdom spoken. 

MARRIAGE, pg 9

“Then Alrnita spoke again and said, And what of Marriage, master?
And he answerd saying:

You were born together, and together you shall be for evermore.

You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness.

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

Please like, comment, reblog and share if it’s worth it! Thank you!




Ingenuity

“Raw ingenuity is very often misconstrued as madness by the crowd. Take no shit. Carry on.”

-The Little Mermaid, MMXVI

Thought For The Day

“You can buy designer clothing but not elegance. You can shop for pricey make-up but not for beauty. You can purchase an upmarket house but not a home. You can buy expensive education but not manners. You can be a person with deep pockets but with just a shallow existence.”

–The Little Mermaid, MMXVI

Friendship

“Choose your inner circle of friends wisely because stupidity is known to have an intractable contagion effect.”

-The Little Mermaid, MMXVI

The Perks Of Dating Much Older Men

When it comes to dating, the rotten rule that has been around for generations states that it is socially acceptable for a person to be romantically involved with someone who’s age is at least half your age plus seven. However, there are people, SANE people, who deviate from the norm and date someone much younger or older than them; which, in my humble opinion, is totally fine as long as both individuals connect. 

In my post, I’m going to write on the advantages a young woman has when she dates an older man, say +15 years her senior. While you must be cudgelling your brains about what has triggered me to blog on this, let me confess beforehand that as a young woman myself, I find older men enormously attractive. They are a whole package! And the fascinating thing with them is that they equate me on many levels – those enlightening tête-à-tête and whatnot. Hard to believe? In that case, read on…

1) Ideal if you want/don’t want children

If at present you feel mentally and physically prepared for a baby, you might choose to marry an older person who is evidently in a better position to cater for the needs of the little one than a young boy who might have other priorities.

Considering from a different standpoint, if you’ve decided that kids are not in the cards, you may have a pretty tough time persuading a younger partner to accept this idea. On the other hand, an older partner who has either already been married and begotten children or has had enough time to cogitate on fatherhood and therefore knows with certitude he doesn’t want to aggravate the global problem of human overpopulation, may be the ideal match for you.

2) Older is sexier…sometimes

When a man takes care of himself, he can actually look better with age and still be in the pink of health. Yes..much like fine wine that gets better with age. Old men somehow seem to effortlessly ooze an air of confidence and charisma. Those few strands of silver hair are symbolic of years of wisdom and experience. Simply put, old men are no longer boys. They are men. Grown-up men. In all senses. Now this is a real turn-on!

3) More financial stability

In general, there’s a stigma that a younger woman dates an older man because he’s more powerful and can essentially take care of her. Heard of gold diggers? And while this may be true for some, a 2010 study by the University of Dundee in Scotland found that as women themselves become more financially independent, their taste may skew towards older (and better-looking) men. What does it mean? It means that as a woman becomes more confident in her own career and finances, she seeks a partner who matches that, which often is not a 25-year-old guy.

Moreover, from what I’ve gathered, a man in his 20s is more likely to blow his cash on frivolous things, while men starting from their late 30s and onwards are likely to save money for the future or for experiences, like a romantic vacation. This implies you can live the good life and afford luxuries without having to worry about going dutch. Does it get any better than this? (Wink)

4) Less likely to play games

An older partner has already sowed his wild oats and is in the market for a serious relationship he can assume with honesty and loyalty. At this stage of life, he is more interested in having a companion than in hooking up with several women in the bars and nightclubs. Older men start a liaison with a clean slate and do not dream about getting a bit on the side because they have seen it and done it all. 

5) You enjoy awesome sex

A mature man knows exactly what excites him and he takes mental notes of what pleases you in bed. Ladies, forget about those night classes you had to conduct on ‘sexology’. Since older men hold the key to opening the doors to the gates of paradise, love-making becomes a more passionate and liberating ritual, than with a young fella who might just be too consumed with his own satisfaction to even bother if you comed or not. Older men literally work for you to climax because they see it as a source of pride when they can cause big, badass orgasms that leave you weak and shaking.

6) You’re the younger one. Game over.

You know the joke about older men chasing younger women? Well, ahem, drag your partner with you and look into the mirror. The benefit of being younger than him is that, as vain as it sounds, it can be an incredible confidence booster. I know it’s shallow but it’s always nice to feel extra sexy, isn’t it? Plus it makes getting old as easy as puddin’ pie because in your circle, you’ll always be the ‘young one’.

7) You learn from your partner

When it boils down to dating older men, you 24/7 feel like you’re learning; whether it be new music, food or arts. You get to hear stories about another period in time which broadens your mind. Moreover, as your partner has a vast amount of knowledge and sagacity under his belt, debates with him become more challenging, discussions more enriching and chitchats seem deeper than the ocean. 

Besides, he’s totally supportive of your ambitions and prolly full of good advice. You must be a dunce to trade all of those for a middle-of-the-road “I need to focus on my career right now, darling”.

8) Someone has already ‘fixed him up’

His past relationships didn’t work out. And now, you can reap the benefits of nice shoes on the racks, toilet seat put down and hand towel in the bathroom. 

On top of that, you can be sure that time doesn’t slow him and that he is going to be this rad forever. In 20 years, he will still be alive and kicking and keeping up with your young ass.

9) He appreciates you

An older man, de facto, might date a younger woman because he wants to maintain his youth. You keep him feeling inspired, which in turn, makes you feel deeply desired. You wake up too late? Cool. You don’t know cooking? No problem. He is a more caring, patient and a romantic lover. In short, you’re everything he wants. He’ll worship you. Period.

10) You live in the moment

Today, young people forget to relish the present moment in the pursuit of future goals and aspirations. Conversely, an older man makes you cherish the beauty of the now and value the significance of living it fully. 

So, as I have pointed out above, dating or even marrying an older man is a worthy experience. Without discounting the fact that women in general, mature faster than men, chances are, you might end up sharing your life with your twin flame, which seldom happens in real life with normal couples. Therefore, do not let society dictate your heart’s calling. And a free bit of advice to some judgemental prudes who might ostensibly conclude you have daddy issues- If you don’t want to get a fat lip, I would suggest you not to butt in where you do not belong. Live and let live. OK? 

P.S. Constructive comments on real life situations, examples or any kind of advice and opinion pertaining to this post are most welcome. 

International Women’s Day

Hello gorgeous bloggers, 

Today is International Women’s Day and I would like to seize this opportunity to shed some light on a few pressing issues surrounding women. To begin with, what is a ‘woman’? How do we define a ‘woman’? The dictionary would eruditely explain us that a woman is a female human being. Oh, did I hear it right? Yes. A human being. Not a piece of flesh. If truth be told, a woman is worth more than a slice of ham and two lumps of fat on her chest. And I’m sorry to say that she is not a baby-producing machine either. She is a human being. She has a mind of her own. She has desires. She has aspirations and goals. She wants to be accepted-not because of her big eyes or large hips, but because of her thoughts, her energy and her abilities. Everyone, in developed countries and developing ones alike, is talking about women’s empowerment, women’s emancipation and gender equality. They are beautiful words that sound good to the ears. I don’t deny it. Indeed, they look good on paper as well; and I swear it will fetch you a couple of marks if you mention them somewhere in exams. But do we actually walk the talk? Are our women really liberated at home? Do they enjoy equal rights at their workplace? For all the optimistic person that I am, I don’t think so. 

Women are still shamed and criticized in this 21st century. They are still perceived to be the weaker sex in society. Their potential is still oppressed by bogus traditions and spurious beliefs. They are still seen as sexual objects. You don’t believe it? Let me give you a couple of eye-opening examples. Just flip through a fashion magazine, turn on the television or listen to the lyrics of popular songs and unfortunately, you will quickly find a common theme: the sexualisation of women. In advertisements, the exposure of women’s bodies occurs about four times as often compared to men’s bodies. The term “sex sells” has begun to cross the boundaries to where we are witnessing sex influence on every product that we are purchasing from alcohol, beauty supplies, groceries to even banking services. Have you ever wondered what correlation, if any, there is between a banking product and a woman’s body? Does that make sense to you? For me, it does not. 

Wait. It does not end here. In many parts of the world, women are traded most commonly for the purpose of sexual slavery and forced labour. As disgusting as it seems, in many Islamic States, captured women are sold in slave markets and at auctions. Are women just a dime’s worth? Not to mention, at work, they rarely escape from the dirty, lustful gaze of their superiors who trick those poor souls into sleeping with them for promotions and career advancement options. Everywhere, practically everywhere, women’s bodies are designated as property that can be evaluated, looked at and touched at the impulse of men’s desire. On top of that, if current trend continues, almost 16 million girls worldwide between the ages 6 and 11 will never get access to primary school education compared to just about 8 million boys. And don’t even get me started on the pay difference that exists. Why? Isn’t it high time this sickening, unjustifiable merry-go-round stop? 

Do you know what makes a woman feel unshackled? Do you wish to participate in women’s salvation? 

Then…

Give her. For once give her.
Give her a platform and watch how she dances off her feet. 
Give her wings and see how she soars higher for the sky offbeat.
Give her a pen and marvel at how she travels in time.
Give her a voice and see how she tolerates no crime.

Judge her. By all means judge her. 
Judge her by her courage
not by the depth of her cleavage.
Judge her by her morals unhurt
not by the length of her skirt.
Judge her from within
not by the colour of her skin.

Let her be. 
Let her be free expressing her emotions, needs and wants.
Let her be free choosing her path, away from religious dogmas and society’s taunts.
Let her live her life in a manner she hopes for.
Let her breathe even if she is a whore.

And! She is sexy. Yes! I’m telling you!           
She is sexy in the way she stands on her own feet independently.   
She is sexy in the way she brings up her child single-handedly.
She is sexy in the way she carries herself with dignity.
She is sexy in the way she sticks to her principles composedly.
Doesn’t this make her one hell of a sexy woman?

Please ladies, you have an identity. You do not need someone else to validate your existence. Do not let yourself be looked down. Forget the rules. You, as a single woman, are worth the entire world’s fortune. No one is rich enough to buy you. No one is strong enough to abuse you. No one is lily-white enough to slam you. Women’s empowerment starts with you. It is when you empower yourself, when you embrace yourself-with all your flaws, your valour, your beauty and your femininity. 

Happy International Women’s Day 2016!